sâmbătă, 8 august 2015

predict and protect

   It's a smart thing- the whole "predict and protect" view we're supposed to have of the world. It's even a smarter thing to watch your back, since we'd all rather be safe than sorry. And the right choice when a new context is in view is to not lose yourself - keep your temper, open your eyes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. These are the basics, and we learn them from the earliest stages of our lives, when failure isn't even a concept we know, when fear is reduced to monsters under our bed and running out of our favorite ice-cream. But the system must be prepared anyhow, because that is the clever way- being cautious. 
   But there is a flaw in the system. In my system, at least. And I have found it. A little glitch, probably a design error, which has led me to the point where "predict and protect" sounds plain shitty.
   It is within a certain feeling that I have come to find: I don't need to play it safe. 
   I have found a comfort zone: where I am no longer scared of anything else but falling into the trap of making everything ephemeral.  
   Here's the point where "generally speaking" doesn't quite cut it, since you're anything but general. 
   Within the safety you give me I have found common ground between what I am and what I long to be. I allow myself to lose temper and to fall as farther as I can because it's your arms I end up in and it makes it alright. 
   I can close my eyes or keep them wide open- it's all safe. I don't need my enemies closer- but I do need you- it's all safe. 
   I can lose myself and I do lose myself- endlessly- in a love that is all encompassing and fearless- it's all safe. 
   I can hurry or take it slow, I can take a break or run forever, because we have all the power and it is all so safe.
    We are faced with the greatest view and the most refreshing candour, it is what makes me feel like we can truly make it. I feel like we're safe not only with but within each other. 
    I don't need to play it safe because I am protected and so are you. We may be dumb enough to give it all, regardless of  potential consequences, but it's because we're smart enough to know when it's worth it. And if there's one thing I've learned is that so very few things are worth it and when you do find something you'd give your whole being to- that's when you fight, that's when safety comes last, that's the glitch.
    So I am out in the open. And with you, I don't even mind. 
    It's all safe.
    To think of it, it is more of a miracle, rather than a plain glitch.