Dear Lover,
I am leaving you. I'm writing you because this way you may react the way you want,in your own privacy. This way,I can write and rewrite my thoughts without the fear of being incoherent. But either way, I am done, Lover, I am done. I am exhausted, and sad, and confused. I'm drifting. I'm losing myself in this game of ours. You are all I could ever want. Except, you don't love me,Lover. You love the game, the chase, the power it gives you, but not me. And it hurts. I never complain, because I am strong, and I never told you the truth because I know you don't care, but now, I just want to leave.
There's another reason I am writing this. I couldn't possibly look into your gorgeous brown eyes and tell you the truth. Never. If you were in front of me right now I would swallow all my words, I would find the energy and power to go one more day with these feelings for you. It is not the case, though. I am giving up. I quit. They say quitters never get anything, but neither do those who try too hard. And I have tried, but your lack of willingness truly brings me down.
Sometimes, you are amazing. From every point of view. I think these are the moments that kept me going for so long. But sometimes, it's like I don't know you, it's like you push me so far away and I can't take it. I don't want you to push me away, I will get out by myself.
Remember that night you came by my house? It was about midnight and I sneaked out and went for a walk with you. It was summer and it was so hot outside. I remember being scared that someone may wake up and maybe figure out I wasn't there. But you helped me with my fear. You said, whatever happens, you would always be there for me, and no one can take that away. But you lied. Even so, no one realized I had gone out that night. No one knew I had left. I fear this may be the case with you too. I fear you will get over me so easily and fast that my ego won't be fed with your regret at all. This shall not change my mind, though.
I hope you will miss me, and I will stand by the phone, waiting for you to call just so I can have the pleasure of not picking up. I will pass by you, not look in your direction, I will do my best to seem as I happy as I can, just so your little pride will be hurt. And I couldn't care less which girl will be your next, I will comfort myself in knowing I hurt you just like you hurt me. I'm not aiming for you love anymore, I want your hatred. So hate me, hate me so much that you would wanna grab my hand and kiss me passionately when you see me passing by. There are ways you could make me come back, I know that. But you won't even try. And that's for the best. I'm running away, because if I can give up on you, then I can do anything.
I don't ever want to see you again.
With love,
Lover.